2010-05-10
Q: The battle of the sexes will always be one of our society's favorite topics. People are interested in the mystery of how and why relationships do or do not work. The movie industry, the romance book publishers, TV, magazines and newspapers make billions of dollars regarding this question. We appear to be overly concerned about our celebrities, entertainment, sports stars and politicians' lifestyles. Why do we focus on these individuals?
A: Because we are interested in how we stack up compared to the lifestyles of those we consider more respected, important and financially successful. Learning of their downfalls and imperfections can make us empathetic, sad and/or happier. Occasionally, their faults make us feel better about ourselves.
The relationship between any two individuals is unpredictable. Some believe the more a couple has in common, the more successful their relationship will be. Others believe the sparks are stronger if they have differences that complement each other's needs.
When asked about which partner initiates the most sex, the assumption has been men. One study revealed each partner does so about 50 percent of the time. Other data would indicate men are more romantic than women.
It appears that in a 25-year marriage or more, couples experience at least seven different kinds of marriage. If that is correct, should we be surprised at the divorce rate?
One professor discovered men tend to fall in love faster than women, but they fall out of love slower. One study challenged the theory of the "hard to get" sexy trophy wife. The results were that after courtship and marriage, many husbands then perceived their wives as everybody's friend but nobody's lover.
One opinion is that men are more willing to reveal their strengths than their weaknesses. Women do disclose their weaknesses, their fears and their feelings about others.
The truth is neither sex is superior. Each has its strengths and weaknesses. Love, caring, trusting, parenting, being happy and content, and accepting each other make relationships successful. A positive attitude is the secret.
Q: After a bridge game, four of us widows got into a serious discussion about our mortality. One of our good friends died last month. Her son arrived to settle her estate and became highly frustrated and upset about the amount of details involved. She had not done her paperwork. What are the "must do" preparations?
A: Settling their parents' estate comes as a major surprise to many inheritors. We are given a wake-up call when we learn what is required by regulatory authorities.
The basics needs include: a will, a trust, a health care power of attorney, an executor responsible for your estate, a list of your assets and liabilities and where they are located, your doctor's name as well as phone numbers of neighbors, tenants and friends.
Every family's needs are different. Planning via your attorney, tax advisory or based on what others have experienced can be tedious, but it is extremely helpful to your loved ones.
Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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