2010-01-04
Q: My mother spends almost one day per week shopping in thrift and dollar stores. She returns home with multiple "must-have" items, which often turn out to be something she did not want or need. She buys numerous toys for her grandchildren. We believe she wastes lots of money. Should we try to corral her?
A: Although you are concerned about her actions, it is her choice how she spends her time and loot. In many ways, most shopping is a form of escapism. Everyone needs to take a break and disconnect from the stressful activities we all face daily. Routine and responsibility can become overwhelmingly boring and tiring. It appears that she is lonely, having fun, maybe saving a little money and re-energizing herself.
The rewards of shopping might be checking out competitive prices and finding bargains and new items by "just looking." Buying toothbrushes, cleaning supplies and greeting cards can be a real value. Spending a little to share gifts with friends and neighbors keeps her engaged and allows her an opportunity to keep up with her contacts.
Teasing and laughing about her purchases can bring belly laughs when she brings home real losers. Grandma has found a valid reason to come and see the grandkids! This also means the grandkids want to see more of her. How lucky can a family get?
Q: My husband and I are retired, and now we have more time to become more thoughtful. We often get depressed as we learn things do not work as they did. Recently, we made a list of our major irritations. We included the fact of how difficult it is to make human-voiced phone contact for answers to our questions regarding customer service. Frequently, we do not understanding our billings, imposed fees or the reasons, such as being overcharged for cell phone usage.
Drivers on their phones, car tailgating and shoppers who push and shove us out of their way in lines and aisles have become obnoxious and made our lists. Is there anything we can do to avoid some of these issues?
A: With a growing population, more competitive retail stores and required forms and regulations, we are all learning more than we want to know. By necessity, many individuals overschedule their to-do lists, drag their young children shopping and even bring illegal pets as companions. Language problems are more common. Coupons, frequent changes and part-time retail personnel complicate getting errands done.
One tip, which may prove helpful, is to schedule all of your activities, such as marketing, doctor's appointments, car tuneups and other necessities, as early in the morning and the week as possible. Weekends are the most difficult times to shop because many employees get paid on Fridays, children accompany them on shopping trips and store traffic becomes heavier.
Whenever there is an option, make reservations for restaurants, haircuts, movie theaters and auto repairs. Walk-ins get less attention. In today's economy, seniors should always ask for the lowest price. The worst response, which could happen, is for a clerk to respond "No!" So be it.
Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California Retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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