Comedy Calendar

February 10, 2012

     Singing telegrams were introduced in New York City on this day in 1933. Today, we not only have singing telegrams but also "strip-o-grams," when an attractive young woman comes to your house and takes off her clothes. I don't know if she sings or not -- and frankly, I don't care.

     The Mongols sacked Baghdad on this day in 1258. The Mongols held the record for sacks on this days. They could sack a city and get home for supper.
     Pillaging took a lot longer -- probably because pillaging required detailed record keeping for tax purposes.

     On this day in 1763 France signed the Treaty of Paris ending the French and Indian War and giving Canada to England. So the English started giving orders in Canada, except in Quebec where nobody understood English.
     Today, of course, everybody in Canada speaks two languages -- French and oil.

     The slogan "All the News That's Fit to Print" first appeared on page one of The New York Times on this date in 1897. It's much more well known than the slogan of The National Enquirer: "All the News That Fits Between Photos of Britney Spears and Big Foot."

     Japan was founded on this date in 660 B.C. Before that, all the chariots were big and clumsy and broke down all the time -- and it took so many horses to pull them, nobody bragged about their miles per bushel.

     On this date in 1863 the first fire extinguisher was patented. We have a fire extinguisher at home. It's my wife's favorite cooking utensil.

     Circus star Tom Thumb married Lavinia Warren on this day in 1863. He was 2-feet-11, she was 2-feet-8. If they were alive today, they'd probably wear designer originals by Barbie and Ken.

     Silver reached a record $1.37 an ounce on this day in 1920, which was a lot of money in those days for a horse.
     Though many believe Trigger would have brought even more.

     The movie "Evita" opened on this date in 1997. It starred Madonna singing and acting with her clothes on, indicating she was growing up and trying to entertain real adults.
     Becoming a parent can change one's perspective.

     On this day in 1863 the first patent was issued for a fire extinguisher. We've come a long way. Today we have chemical extinguishers, automatic sprinkler systems, and something that always puts out my fire -- my wife.

     On this day in 1863 the famous circus dwarf, Tom Thumb, married Lavinia Warren. When Tom asked Lavinia' parents for her hand in marriage, they consented. Lavinia's parents felt they weren't losing a hand, they were gaining a Thumb.

     Circus star Tom Thumb married Lavinia Warren on this day in 1863. They were made for each other. Tom as 2-feet-11 and Lavinia was three inches shorter. They saved money at the reception by standing on the cake themselves.

     On this day in 1846 Brigham Young and his Morman pioneers left Illinois in search of a new home. They knew it would be a long journey, so each man filled his wagon with a full year's supply of food, water, and wives.

     On this day in 1676 Indians attacked Lancaster, Massachusetts, and held all the women for ransom. The husbands agreed to pay the ransom, but only if the Indians would keep the women.
     This started the early American custom of husbands sleeping in the barn.

     France gave Canada to England on this day in 1763. Which was extremely generous considering Canada belonged to the Indians.

     On this day in 1258 the Mongols sacked Baghdad. Baghdad was thrown for a 15-yard-loss and was forced to punt.