Now! As a public nuisance, The (Jock) Show remembers another of the all-time classically questionable Christmas toys:

• Today we're proud to bring back warm, wacky memories of:Whoopsie! Whoopsie was a cute little doll whose ponytails popped up when you squeezed her tummy. That's all she did, just wiggled her ponytails. Of course, for only $12.95 most dolls wouldn't even let you squeeze their tummy.

• Bubble Yum Baby! This doll not only blew bubbles but her hair could be washed and blown dry with mommy's hair dryer. Actually, she blew up little balloons instead of real bubble gum, but this didn't keep truly imaginative children from gumming up mommy's hair dryer.

• Sonic Ear! Sonic Ear was a super-spy microphone gun that amplified sound from 100 feet away and turned 8-year-olds into super eavesdroppers. Of course, most 8-year-olds are super eavesdroppers even without a super-spy gun.

• Alvin the Aardvark! Alvin was an orange plastic aardvark that zapped toy ants off the floor when you squeezed his tail. Squeeze my tail and I'd probably zap a few things myself.

• Baby Wet N Care! A real bestseller, this doll not only drank and wet but also got diaper rash. Honest. And for another $15.00 you could get her little friend, who lay his land on her head and cured the rash.

• The Incredible Hulk! This doll was a hilarious little green monster who ripped off his clothes and burst out of his "Rage Cage." Sounds like the boss when his secretary wears that slit skirt.

• Snow White's Magic Mirror! It was a real mirror until you pressed the button, then Snow White magically appeared and talked to you. She could say six different phrases which made her smarter than the average girls you meet in singles bars.

• Sneezy! Feed this doll, press her tummy, and she sneezed right in your face. If she'd also burped and wet her pants you could have enrolled her in day care.

• Baby Alive! She ate, she drank, wet, even dirtied her diaper. And she did it for years! Obviously, any doll that couldn't be potty trained in all those years had serious problems.

• Milky the Marvelous Cow! You pumped Milky's tail and she drank; you squeezed her udder and she gave pretend milk. Unfortunately, children who drank Milky's pretend milk reportedly now suffer from pretend high cholesterol.

• Gobbles the Goat! Gobbles looked, sounded, and ate like a real goat. Pump his tail and he ate garbage. My son does the same thing and I don't have to pump his tail.