My Son Plays Poker with Friends

DR. WALLACE: My 17-year-old son is a good student, a very good athlete and I love him dearly. I'm a divorced mother, and I do my very best to see that my 15-year-old daughter and my son are good people. So far, so good. However, there is one area in which I do need some advice. Lately, Texas Hold 'em poker has been a big hit on TV. My son and his friends watched it, and now they have formed their own poker club. They all take turns hosting the weekly event (Saturday night) and supplying the snacks. It's good that my son and his friends get together every week. Their parents supervise them, so I know where he is and that he is safe. The boys do play for money, but only limited small amounts.

My mother lives with us and is appalled that I allow my son to gamble. As a parent, am I being foolish when permitting my son to play Texas Hold 'em? When it's at our house, the boys seem to have a good time, and they are not doing drugs or drinking alcohol. Please give me your opinion. - Mom, Hackensack, N.J.

MOM: Poker has become a popular pastime due to the exposure it receives on TV sports channels. I guess these channels consider poker to be an athletic event. When played regularly, poker can become habit-forming and eventually, addictive. It's commendable that the boys are "supervised" by parents, and yes, I would rather that my son plays in the "Texas Hold 'em poker group" than indulge in taking drugs or consuming alcohol. However, I would prefer that he play in a three-man basketball league, go bowling or just hang out talking sports with friends.

An occasional game of penny-ante poker probably won't turn the players into addicted gamblers. But those whose lives have been dramatically altered by gambling abuse had to get started somewhere. If you don't gamble, you will never need the help of Gamblers Anonymous!

DID MY GIRLFRIEND LOVE ME?

DR. WALLACE: My girlfriend and I broke up. It was a mutual decision, but I am really depressed. I miss her very much. I know I will get over her in time, but I'm suffering right now. My ex-girlfriend is just the opposite. She doesn't appear depressed and is already dating another guy. Is this a sign that I cared more for her than she cared for me? I really loved her, and I thought that she loved me. - Nameless, Ada, Okla.

NAMELESS: Chances are good that your girlfriend cared for you as much as you cared for her. Studies show that females tend to have better resources available to them for coping with the breakup blues. They turn to family and friends, whereas guys trapped by "manly" pride tend to suppress their true feelings. This does cause the suffering to linger for guys. Girls grieve over a ruined relationship, but then get on with their lives.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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