Down with Athletics

DR. WALLACE: I hate athletics. First of all, I'm not the athletic type. There are those who know me and consider me to be a nerd. But I'm a very intelligent nerd. I'm in the 11th grade and so far I'm a straight-A student, and my plan is to graduate with a straight-A average and then graduate from an elite Ivy League school such as Harvard or Yale. It really bugs me that at my high school the athletes get all the glory and the nerds are laughed at. When I'm making a million dollars a year, most of the school jocks will be working for minimum wage or, if they're lucky, working at an auto repair shop. That goes for the snobby cheerleaders, too. They will marry the jocks and live in a rental house taking care of four plump kids.

As for me, my wife and I will be living in a penthouse, driving Mercedes Benz cars and dining at expensive restaurants. It could be that one of our school athletes might even be our waiter. He would be lucky. I would be a good tipper. Down with athletes, and three cheers for us nerds! Someday we will be running the country! - Nerd, Nashua, N.H.

NERD: I'm impressed with your goals to graduate from high school with straight A's (valedictorian, no doubt), receive your degree from Harvard or Yale and then become a millionaire. These are lofty goals, and I wish you well on your journey toward them. But I'm sorry you are so fueled by revenge and seem to be as concerned about other people's failures as your own successes. This means you'll never be happy simply with your own accomplishments.

I'm equally sorry that you harbor such negative feelings about sports. This is your loss. While academics should never be compromised for athletics, the two can coexist in harmony. Remember, both Harvard and Yale are members of the National Collegiate Athletic Association. Both of these academically prodigious schools field men's teams in football, basketball, baseball, track and field, and host many other sports. The women's programs provide a full schedule of sports, including basketball, softball, field hockey, tennis and swimming.

Providing students with an excellent academic program is a school's prime function, but extracurricular programs, including athletics, music and drama, provide an outlet for the pressures of the classroom and keep student lives in balance.

Even if you don't participate, watching athletic events can be an enjoyable recreation. Try it!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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