Please Tell Me How to be Happy

DR. WALLACE: I'm 14 and down on myself. I feel like all the girls at my school are prettier and smarter than I am. I know they have more money to spend than I do, and they always wear nicer clothes than I have. When it comes to dating, I don't think I'll ever be able to compete, and I probably won't have a boyfriend. My mother and grandmother keep telling me that I'm beautiful, but I think they are just trying to make me feel good. I don't feel beautiful; I feel like a failure, and there is nothing I can do about it.

I know that "money isn't everything," but if I had a million dollars, I would buy trendy clothes. Then, I would go to a plastic surgeon and have a nose job and make my face look like a movie star. But I don't have a million dollars, and I don't think I ever will. Can you tell me how to be happy with what I have and not always dream about what I don't have? I am a good athlete. - Stacey, San Antonio, Texas

STACEY: First of all, do not compare yourself to others. Every human being is different and gifted in some area. You are beautiful! Keep a smile on your face, and just be yourself. Don't compete to have the "coolest" clothes or to be the most popular. Do what you do best and enjoy every minute of it. Be kind to every living thing and help those who are not as fortunate as you. This will make you feel extremely good.

Being a good athlete is a gift and participating in athletics, especially as a team player, is a great way to develop friendships. I was an athlete in both high school and college and was fortunate to have coached high-school varsity basketball. My love for athletics and my educational and coaching experiences have helped me immensely in understanding teens and offering advice to them. That's why I'm positive that things will become much brighter for you very soon! Keep smiling, and contact me again soon to let me know how you are doing!

WHEN I SPEAK BEFORE A GROUP I GET NERVOUS

DR. WALLACE: Whenever I speak before an audience or in class, I get so nervous that my body actually shakes. Last month, I had to give a report in history and besides the shakes, my hands were clammy and my voice cracked. I know that I will have to talk before groups again since I plan to go to college, so can you tell me how I can overcome this fear? - Alexi, San Mateo, Calif.

ALEXI: Every speaker has a certain amount of "butterflies" but experienced speakers usually lose these once the speech is under way. Here are a few tips that work for me. I hope you will find them helpful.

1. Don't memorize your speech word for word, but know your subject matter and make an outline of what you want to cover.

2. Use notecards to jot down key words or ideas on the cards.

3. Practice your speech in front of a mirror while looking yourself in the eye.

4. Project your voice so that all in the audience can hear you.

5. Be aware of your hands and what they are doing.

6. Know something about your audience.

7. Keep constant eye contact with your audience.

8. Whenever possible, use a lectern.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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