William Moyers

2009-08-15 Another

The school year is about to begin at colleges and universities across the country. With it comes the opportunity for students to expand their academic horizons and their sense of independence, while their parents wonder and worry about what their children are learning outside the classroom.

Recent studies by the federal government have found that about 30 percent of college students met criteria for a diagnosis of alcohol abuse and about 7 percent for a diagnosis of alcohol dependence last year. Most stop after graduation. But the problems under the influence can last a lifetime.

Dear Mr. Moyers: Our daughter comes from a fine stock of academic overachievers who also had a propensity to drink their way to the dean's list. Yes, she is just like her parents. We both excelled in our studies. But my wife and I also managed to do so despite a lot of "social" drinking, which caused us consequences we still regret today. (I wrecked a friend's car and broke my leg my sophomore year. My wife was sexually abused by a boy she was dating at the time.) Because of this, we're quite concerned about what will happen now that our daughter's a freshman — at our alma mater! We never really have talked to her about our concerns, much less our experiences, and we're not sure how to now. We don't want her to think we're hypocrites. And we'd like to hope that everything will be OK. But we know hope by itself is not the answer. Any suggestions? — Barry N., Portland, Ore.

Dear Barry: I believe that honest dialogue with your daughter is essential. You're a hypocrite only if you tell her not to drink at college or that if she does, she won't get good grades. Why? Because you drank and you got good grades. And even though it is illegal now for students younger than 21 to drink and most academic institutions have clearly defined policies on alcohol consumption, the culture on (and off) many college campuses hasn't changed much.

Explain to her the consequences you experienced in your day and that the risks far outweigh the fun of it all. Tell her what you regret about your college days. Encourage her to seek out friends who embrace her values. Most of all, explain that if she chooses to drink, she may not be able to choose the consequences. Tell her that if she gets into trouble, it is OK for her to ask for help from you, her friends or her academic adviser.

Even students whose consequences on campus led them into abstinence face challenges going back to school.

Dear Mr. Moyers: I'm 20 years old. I was kicked out of college last year because of drug problems that got me arrested for possession. So I had to go to treatment; now I really do understand I can't use drugs or even drink anymore. I've got to stay clean. But for that very reason, the prospects of returning to college terrify me. I've got to get a degree of some kind to get ahead in life. I need to stay sober to have a life, though. What to do? — Landers A., Superior, Wis.

Dear Landers: You are a model of inspiration for the next generation. Still, I realize the peer pressure you'll face. So do many colleges, which are designating dormitories and designing programs to support students in recovery, as well as those who want to avoid alcohol or other drugs. The pioneer of sober student living is the StepUP Program at Augsburg College, in Minneapolis, not too far from where you live (http://www.augsburg.edu/stepup). Another credible resource is the Association of Recovery Schools (http://www.recoveryschools.org).

Even in this day and age, it is possible to go to college and earn a degree without drinking or taking drugs.

William C. Moyers is the vice president of external affairs for the Hazelden Foundation and the author of "Broken," his best-selling memoirs. Please send your questions to William Moyers at William@WilliamMoyers.com. To find out more about William Moyers and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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