11-10-31
Worry is one of the most damaging of all our human emotions. But unlike
anger or joy, it's not right out there. It lurks in the shadows. It's
stealth-like and insidious, like water torture. It's not piercing or
crushing — just that constant drip, drip, drip. Worry is nagging,
unrelenting, forever forecasting the future in terms of doom and gloom,
and then concentrating on what could happen.
Worry is a learned behavior. We were not born worrying. We've learned
to worry from past experiences and from watching others worry — probably
our parents. Anxious parents raise anxious kids.
That worry is a learned experience is good news. That means it can be
unlearned.
The first thing you must do is realize that worry is a big waste.
Worry is totally useless because it doesn't do anything. It doesn't
change anything. Worry cannot control the future or change the past. It
can't pay a bill, solve a problem or cure an ill. But it can throw you
into a kind of emotional paralysis. There is a verse in the Bible that
says, "An anxious heart weighs a man down." — Proverbs 12:25. That
really says it all, doesn't it? Worry is like trying to carry around a
very heavy load, a crushing weight.
Worry plays with your imagination. And it's like a big magnifying
glass, too. It exaggerates the size and scope of a problem. Worry makes
problems larger than they really are.
There are practical ways you can wipe worrying from your life:
1. Designate one 15-minute period of time in the day to worry. As
worries come up during the day, jot them down but do not worry about
them. You'll have time to do that later.
2. Take control of your mind. You choose what you think about. When
negative thoughts crowd your mind, send them away. Find something to do
with your hands. Refuse to allow those worries to enter your mind,
except during your official worry time.
3. When it's time for your Special Worry Time, drop everything you
are doing. Find a quiet place where you can concentrate all of your
efforts on your problems, all the things that could happen and all the
things that you are just sure will happen. Pour your heart into it, and
worry, worry, worry, worry without ceasing for a full 15 minutes. Do not
allow thoughts of peace, or joy, or happiness to invade this special
worry time. Get it all out. When 15 minutes are up, stop. No more
worrying until tomorrow at this time.
Hint: I doubt if there will be a time tomorrow — you will learn
quickly that it is exhausting and totally nonproductive to worry.
4. Find a more productive alternative to worry. I suggest talking to
God. Tell him what's worrying you. He's someone who can do something
about it.
If you spent as much time praying as you do worrying, you'd have a
lot less to worry about.
Mary Hunt is the founder of www.DebtProofLiving.com and author of 18
books, including her best-selling classic "Debt-Proof Living." You can
email her at mary@everydaycheapskate.com, or write to Everyday
Cheapskate, P.O. Box 2135, Paramount, CA 90723. To find out more about
Mary Hunt and read her past columns, please visit the Creators Syndicate
Web page at www.creators.com.
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