Campaign rhetoric: Baloney
disguised as food for thought.
A radical: Someone whose
opinions differ from yours.
A politician: One who
claims to understand both sides of an issue (and may take them both).
Tax collector: Someone
looking for untold wealth.
Congress: Where a person
gets up to speak, has nothing to say, nobody listens, then everyone disagrees.
Tax loopholes: Like
parking spaces, they seem to disappear by the time you get there.
Defeated candidate: A
person who is lucky because he doesn't have to explain why he didn't keep campaign
promises.
Many people will spend the summer
occupied with fishing and politics. In fishing you use a worm, and in politics a worm uses
you.
The political
candidates are planning their strategy for the fall campaign. Right now they must honestly
decide on which issues they’re going to be dishonest.
If a person is well-informed on
world issues, he can run for political office. And if the voters are not well-informed, he
can get elected.
Republicans and Democrats have a lot in common. Republicans
wear $1,000 suits, and Democrats drive $1,000 cars.
I like to tape news
shots of Dick Cheney, and run them with my VCR on fast-forward. He looks so different,
when he moves.
We
keep electing politicians who lie, cheat, and deceive us. In Britain it’s the cows
who are crazy. Over here it’s us.
The
U.S. national debt is now 7-trillion dollars! That's a seven and 12 zeros, my fellow
bankrupt Americans.
The
Japanese have bought everything in America except the politicians. The Japanese want
quality products.
A politician's idea
of a mistake in judgement is accepting a small bribe when he should have done the ethical
thing--hold out for a big one.
The world's smallest
gathering is a politician collecting his thoughts.
I got a letter from
my congressman deploring how America has become a throw-away society--but I threw it away.
Remember, you can't fool
all the people all the time—but you must fool them during the campaign.
Have you noticed? It's
always the fat cats who want to tighten somebody else's belt.
Congress has more good
actors than the World Wrestling Federation.
A president can't fool
all the people all the time. That's why we elect a president and a vice president.
