While they celebrated their victory, I planned my next attack, knowing that the
"results" of the battle were far less important than the battle itself. Do you want to be an effective father?
One of the easiest ways to be effective is to wrestle with your
kids. Not only is it loads of fun, but the benefits go a long way towards teaching your
kids some valuable lessons.
When your child wrestles with you, they learn many things
simultaneously. They learn that you care about them enough to spend time with them. They
learn that you're strong, and that if you wish you can pick them up and throw them out the
window! And they also learn that you can be very gentle with them at the same time.
Wrestling with your kids allows you to set very clear limits on
what's allowed. Research has shown that wrestling with your kids helps them to develop
self-control and to gain more discipline. When a limit has been violated, you can gently
and firmly let your child know what's allowed and what isn't.
It's extremely important to wrestle with your daughter as well as
your son. When you avoid wrestling with your daughter, you run the risk of showing her
that you don't believe she's capable of handling it. She can handle it, and by doing it
you show her you think she's strong and capable.
If you have more than one child, you can have some great wrestling
matches with the whole family, including mom! But as fathers, we'll often have a special
place in the family as the "fun, physical guy." We'll often be the ones who show
our kids how to play. In this case, we need to be able to show our kids how to play
"rough."
Many fathers have wrestled with their kids because it just "felt
right," or because they remembered their father wrestling with them when they were
young. They had no knowledge of any research associated with it or that it had great
benefits for their kids.
So keep looking for opportunities to tackle your son or daughter and
take them down to the floor!
It won't be long before your
opportunities are gone.
Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches men to be better fathers
and husbands. He is the author of "25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent
Fathers" http://www.markbrandenburg.com/father.htm.
Sign up for his FREE bi-weekly newsletter, "Dads, Don't Fix Your Kids," at http://www.markbrandenburg.com.
