Bringing
a sibling home is a dream for many parents and grandparents, and the desire to have more
children can be an emotional and idealistic idea for some couples.
Despite the mental picture, choosing to
enlarge your family in this day and age requires a new set of guidelines and principles
than when your parents were having children.
If you are debating whether to bring another child into your family, consider some of the
following questions with your spouse. You may find that your mind has already been made
up!
What Is Your Plan?
You already have one child, so you're familiar with the work involved in caring for a
baby. You've been through sleepless nights and diaper changes, so what else is there to
know?
If you are hoping
for a large family with the idea of staying home with your children, it is wise to
consider the reality of your lifestyle and the sacrifices to be made. While a single child
has already altered your life, don't take for granted some of the ease with which you may
be able to call on friends or family for babysitting, take your child to social events or
on an errand run.
If you are still holding on to a lifestyle that you had before children, you will very
likely find a second child causes a drastic change. Granted, some children are easier than
others, but if your first child is demanding more of you than you expected, a second child
will only double that feeling.
What is the Cost?
The truth, despite what your grandmother may tell you, is that it
does cost more to have more children - not just "another potato in the pot.".
More than one parent has had to find new babysitting arrangements when returning to work
after a second child because the grandparent or friend did not feel able to take on the
additional work. Daycare costs will double -- drastically reducing your take-home pay.
If you are choosing to stay home with your children (which
in some cases is financially more sound) you will still encounter extra costs even if the
second child will wear your older child's clothes (assuming they are the same sex) or is
breastfeeding for the first year.
Add to that the cost of health care, education and larger
accommodations or vehicles and you will quickly see the numbers adding up. In your
parents' or grandparents' time that might not have been such a big consideration. While
finances are not the only consideration, of course, preparing for that aspect is
important.
You may be in a good place financially to take on the costs
or you may feel the price of having more children to love is worth the sacrifice. Many
families both survive and thrive on the tighter budget of additional children, and if you
are prepared for it, yours can too.
How is Your Health?
Children can wear you out. Love them and cherish them but if you
are dealing with poor health or stamina you may find your resources tapped with a second
child.
It is a joy for a family to grow. You will not regret the
person that comes, but for the sake of the family's happiness you need to treat the
decision to add to a family as seriously as the decision to start one.
A lot of thought and a lot of prayer
will help you make the right decision.
