Live! From the
outskirts of sanity! It's The (Jock) Program!
Before we begin I'd just
like to say, if this doesn't work out, we'll all meet at Burger King, stick French fries
in our ears, and take pictures.
This morning my
tongue feels like I used it to loosen a few screws. Regular screws -- and I have a
Phillips tongue. (Toms Lake Humor Company)
Today is St.
Patrick's Day, but April 15 is the day most Americans get their Irish up.
St.
Patrick's Day Fun
Now today's romantic
poem:
Roses are fragrant,
Chocolates are yummy;
You please your nose,
I'll please my tummy.
Now today's health tip for children who want their parents to
stop smoking. Kids, next time you're in the car, stick your bubble gum in the cigarette
lighter.
[Falsetto] This guy
sounds like he swallowed Carol Burnette.
Sweet (Jock) here, puttin' it all
together right here on the radio in front of everybody. Reach out and grab some
of it!
The preceding recording was
closed-captioned for the singing impaired.
It's like old Aunt
Charlie used to say, "If you can't say something nice about someone, say
something nasty."
This
just in. The ACLU today filed
suit claiming it is unconstitutional to use a cross to repel a public school teacher who
is a vampire.
I get
plenty of exercise. I put on my roller blades and turn my treadmill up to full speed.
The boss's secretary is soooo
efficient. Right now she's at the water fountain -- rinsing out a few things.
You think you know people, then
boom, they go completely bananas! I had no idea (Jock) would get that upset when I ate his
last Twinkie.
The great thing about having a
cell phone is, if you get caught in a traffic jam, you can have a pizza delivered.
[Dolly] That's Dolly Parton, who as
you might suspect, has never been an Oak Ridge Boy.
Stay tuned, gang. After the news
this madness will continue, weather permitting.
[Next Jock] has really been
around. He even has a tattoo that says, "Void where prohibited by law."
Copyright
©2011 by Joe Hickman
