"The Oprah Winfrey Show" debuted on television on this day in 1986. It became a tradition as millions of viewers tuned in to see if they could tell on any given day if Oprah was gaining or losing weight.
     And on any given day it doesn’t really matter—we all like Oprah just the way she is.

     The "Tarzan" TV show debuted on this day in 1966. Ron Ely played Tarzan, but there was no Jane—so, of course, the show didn’t last.
     How could it? There was nobody to wash and iron Tarzan’s loin cloth.
     You can’t trust a monkey with a steam iron.

     Today is Pardon Day, marking the day in 1974 when Richard Nixon was pardoned for not being a crook. Hey, I know it sounds weird, but that's just the way politicians think.

     "Star Trek" debuted on TV on this date in 1966. And in the movies, these guys are still being beamed up. Some of them have put on so much weight, if they make another movie, Scotty will have to get a new beamer-upper.

     Many viewers spent most of the first episode of "Star Trek" fiddling with their vertical controls, trying to get Mr. Spock's ears to look normal.

     St. Augustine, Florida, was founded on this date in 1565. It was easy to recognize. It was the only town in America.
     The Native Americans would ride by St. Augustine and say, "What's that?"
     And the tribe psychic, Deputy Chief Crazy Goat, would say, "Ugh, that paleface city, future home of many potholes, tax increases, and chicken nuggets."

     On this day in 1860 Charles Blondin walked a tightrope across Niagara Falls on stilts!
     He'd already crossed the falls blindfolded, pushing a wheelbarrow, with a man on his back, on a bicycle, and inside a sack.
     Once Blondin even carried a stove, a pan, and a egg, and balanced on a tightrope over Niagara Falls, he boiled the egg and ate it!
     I guess that's what you call a daredeviled egg.

     On this day in 1932 country singer Patsy Cline was born. She became very popular on vinyl. As opposed to Shania Twain, who became very popular in vinyl.

     "The Oprah Winfrey Show" premiered on this date in 1986. Amazingly, Oprah’s was the top-rated talk show for years, despite the fact that very few of her guests were the least bit retarded.

     The great comic actor Peter Sellers was born on this date in 1925. I loved Sellers as the bumbling Inspector Clouseau in the Pink Panther movies. He was sort of the George W. Bush of the police department.

     Today is Pardon Day, marking the pardon of Richard Nixon on this day in 1974. Nixon steadfastly insisted he was not a crook, which makes him the only man in history to be pardoned for being honest.

     "Star Trek" made its TV debut on this day in 1966. I remember the introduction to that first show: "to boldly go where no man has ever gone before." I thought they were doing a program about my daughter's closet.

     On this day in 1157, King Richard the Lion-Hearted was born. King Richard was famous for crusading all over the place with a giant sword and a red cross on his chest. He always surprised his enemies because they thought he was bringing doughnuts.

     On this day in 1760 Wisconsin came under British control after being a French territory. Which explains why, to this day, some Wisconsin cows still moo with an accent.

     King Richard the Lion-Hearted was born on this date in 1157. When the doctor slapped him, Richard bit off two fingers.

     On this date in 1966 the first episode of "Star Trek" aired. They say when Leonard Nemoy was offered the role of Mr. Spock, his ears really perked up.

     The first permanent settlement in the U.S. was founded on this date in 1565 in St. Augustine, Florida. At the first Thanksgiving, though, the Indians left when the settlers showed up with roast alligator and dressing.