Today is Independence Day in Swaziland, a small African nation about the size of New Jersey. I tried to call a Swaziland radio station for an interview, but it didn't work out. I was the 17th caller, however, and I did win the goat.

     Today is Independence Day in Swaziland, which became an independent nation on this day in 1968. King Sobhuza the 2nd of Swaziland had 112 wives. And Brigham Young thought he had problems.
     112 wives! Think how many bathrooms you'd need just to dry all the pantyhose.

     Today's exciting Swaziland trivia question: How many TV sets are there in Swaziland?
     None. The Swazis are still completely uncivilized. They have no idea how to deal with diarrhea, acid reflux, or mold and mildew.
     It's really pathetic. In Swaziland you can drive by a motel and see ducks swimming in the satellite dish.

     William Corfield set a world whelk eating record on this day in 1969. A whelk is a sea snail, and William shelled and ate 81 of them in 15 minutes at the sea shore in Somerset, England. And if you think I'm gonna try to say he shelled sea snails at the sea shore in Somerset, you're seriously silly.

     Canada's first TV station, CBFT in Montreal, began telecasting on this day in 1952. But the programs were pretty dull. In fact, for years the #1 show in Montreal was a French test pattern.

     On this day in 1989, 41-thousand civilians in Paris received letters charging them with murder, extortion, and prostitution instead of traffic violations because of a computer foul-up. Coincidentally, the same thing happened in New York City, except the computer charged 41-thousand people with traffic violations instead of murder, extortion, and prostitution.

     On this date in 1620 the Pilgrims left England, headed to the New World. The Pilgrims were utterly miserable in England, and desperately wanted a new place to be utterly miserable in.
     They chose Massachusetts because they heard Plymouth really rocked.

     Today is Independence Day in Swaziland, but it won't be as exciting as usual. Because the palace roof leaks, and it rained last night and ruined the firecracker.

     Alexander Galt was born on this date in 1817. Sir Alex was one of the all-time great Canadians, right up there with John Cabot, Sir John MacDonald, and Charlie Farquharson.

     Actress Jo Anne Worley was born in Lowell, Iowa, on this day in 1937. What a voice she has. When Jo Anne lets out a wail, it sounds like an ambulance in heat.

     Sir Frederick Abel died on this date in 1902. Sir Fred invented cordite by mixing up some nitroglycerin, guncotton, acetone, and Vaseline. Cordite is neat because, when it explodes, it doesn't smoke. So it's recommended by the Surgeon General.

     In Frederick, Maryland, on this date in 1862, Stonewall Jackson's troops tried to shoot down the Union flag on Barbara Ritchie's house. So Barbara screamed, "Shoot if you must this old gray head, but leave my flag alone!"
     So they shot at her old gray head, but missed. They also missed her flag, her house, and the Union Army.

     British chemist John Dalton was born on this date in 1766. Dalton became famous for his formulation of the "atomic theory." Everybody laughed at Dalton, however. They said his atomic theory was stupid and eventually would bomb.

     Comic actress Jo Anne Worley was born on this date in 1937. Jo Anne was graduated magna cum loud from the Carol Burnett School of Screaming.