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Comedy Calendar

August 30, 2011

    On this date in 1963 the famous "hot line" was set up between Washington and Moscow. In case of a nuclear emergency, the President can call up the Russians and in a matter of minutes have their complete denial

     Donald Duck debuted in a newspaper comic strip on this day in 1936. Donald was already a movie star, so a comic strip was easy. Heck, he could do the comics with his head under his wing.

      Dutch chemist Jacobus Van't Hoff was born on this day in 1852. He explained optical activity and asymmetry of organic compounds in solution by introducing the three-dimensional view of chemical bonds. Which made just about everybody feel a whole lot better.

     Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein, was born on this day in 1787. Which prompts today's exciting Frankenstein trivia question: Where did Shelley get the idea for Dr. Frankenstein's monster?
     The Frankenstein idea came from the Greek mythological character Prometheus, who was chained to a rock where a vulture came each day and ate his liver.
     Each night, Prometheus grew a new liver; and the next day, here came the vulture again.
     The Frankenstein monster was merely a new, improved Prometheus. Thank goodness.

    
     Queen Cleopatra called it a day on this day in 30 B.C. by letting a snake bite her. And studies have shown that most queens who mess with snakes are asking for it.
     But you couldn't blame Cleo. Caesar and Marc Antony had left her alone with four kids and no visible means of stopping the Roman army.
     When the snake killed her, Cleopatra was 39 years old. Nobody seems to know how old the snake was.

     Cleopatra committed suicide on this day in 30 B.C. by letting a poisonous snake bite her on the arm and the breast. In the movie version, Elizabeth Taylor refused to let the snake bite her on the breast. And I don't blame her.

     On this day in 1929 Colonel E.H. Green became the first person to buy a newly-designed automobile that had no clutch or gearshift. In those days such a vehicle was called an electric car. Today's it's called a used car.

    This is National Veterinary Week, honoring those brave physicians who devote most of their lives trying to get a cat to say, "Ahhh."
     Even more courageous are the doggie dentists. Ever try to floss a pit bull?

     Actor Michael Chiklis is 48 today. He played The Commish in his first TV series. He was sort of like Poppin’ Fresh, the Pillsbury Dough Boy, with a gun.

    On this day in 1990 Ken Griffey and Ken Griffey Jr. became the first father and son to play on the same major-league baseball team, the Seattle Mariners. Ken Sr. said he got such a lump in his throat, he thought he’d swallowed his tobacco.

     The second Battle of Bull Run was fought on this date in 1862. They had to have a second Battle of Bull Run because at the first battle of Bull Run the bull wouldn’t run.

     John Asmuc and John Waller set a world record on this day in 1976 by riding 147 miles around Grinstead, England, in full armor. They had hoped to ride farther, but it was a hot day, and they began to suffer the embarrassment of rust-around-the-collar.

    Cleopatra died on this day in 30 B.C. She was born 39 years later in 69 B.C. Which sounds strange I know, but in B.C., everybody lived backwards.

    The vacuum cleaner was patented on this date in 1901. It's a pretty simple principle, actually. Vacuuming sucks.

    Queen Cleopatra committed suicide on this date in 30 B.C. by allowing a poisonous snake to bite her. The snake later died of a fang infection.

    On this day in 1979, U.S. President Jimmy Carter, fishing in a canoe near Plains, Georgia, was attacked by a killer rabbit. The rabbit escaped, and Carter barely survived all the jokes.

     Mary Shelley was born on this day in 1797. Mary wrote "Frankenstein" after her husband and his first wife drowned mysteriously. Mary was a wonderful woman -- from a distance. 

Copyright 2011 by Joe Hickman

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