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On this day in 1965 the
Beatles had a private jam session with Elvis Presley at his home in Bel Air, California.
Ringo said he’d never forget the visit because it was the first time he’d ever
had gravy on his French fries.
On this day in 1748 an opera of the
story of Pygmalion premiered in Paris. It involves a statue that comes to life—sort
of like when Al Gore tries to dance.
On this day in 1990 the Ultimate
Warrior defeated Rick Rude in the World Wrestling Federation’s Summer Slam. If you
don’t remember this exciting fight it’s probably because nobody bit off
anybody’s anything.
Hannibal Hamlin was born on
this day in 1809. Most people don't remember Hannibal, and there's good reason for that.
In 1861 he was elected Vice-President of the United States.
Lyndon Johnson was born
on this day in 1908. Johnson had the largest ears of any U.S. president. In fact, when he
was a child, Lyndon's ears were so large they thought he he might grow up to be a prince.
What's so amazing is that the tabloids never dug up an affair
between Lyndon and Queen Elizabeth.
The shortest war in
history occurred on this day in 1896. The British Fleet went all-out and defeated Zanzibar
in 38 minutes. The British apparently felt they had to win quickly because it was almost
tea time.
On this day in 55 B.C.
Julius Caesar landed in England. The English might have felt better about it if his
entourage had not included 8,000 Roman soldiers.
You know how 8,000 soldiers can clutter up a beach.
Confucius was born on
this day in 551 B.C. He was the 11th child of a 70-year-old soldier -- a real ancient
Chinese army brat.
His first words were, "Da-da -- don't shoot!"
It was Confucius, you
may recall, who said, "He who keeps nose to grindstone is bloody fool."
Today is
Independence Day in Moldova, where they have 5-million people and 2-million pigs.
That’s twice as many people and pigs as Arkansas. Maybe Bill and Hillary could retire
there.
Not everybody knows where Moldova is, but
with 2-million pigs it’s easy to find. Just turn right at Romania and follow your
nose.
Today was Mother Teresa's
birthday. She was my favorite nun, next to Sally Field.
Mother Teresa was born
on this day in 1910. She founded the Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta, opened
facilities for the poor in New York and New Jersey, and won the Nobel Peace Prize. For a
little old Yugoslav nun to accomplish all that, she must have had some pretty powerful
backers. At least one anyway.
Mother Teresa was born on this
day in 1910. Mother Teresa lived her entire life in poverty, loving the poor, helping
others, praying for peace. You know, the kind of stuff that never gets you on Jerry
Springer.
Tarzan first appeared in a
magazine serial on this day in 1908. Tarzan swung through the jungle with a monkey on his
back. He was addicted to bananas.
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